POETRY
DINOSAUR BONES
She walks behind the old woman,
following her footsteps in the snow.
Only 13, she is prisoner of her,
not free, like other young ones.
Approaching a naked tree,
now dying,
the old woman begins to climb.
The young girl looks up
to see a big black cat
nestled in the tree
and beckons for it to come down.
This is her chance to escape!
She turns around and runs,
bare feet in the snow,
not looking back.
She comes to a small village
she once knew.
People in restaurants on a lazy Sunday afternoon,
others milling about in shops,
not looking for anything in particular.
Just a normal day on a normal Sunday.
She feels safe again.
Then she comes to a wide expanse of beach
on which lie ancient dinosaur bones.
This wild place of no people,
long forgotten
and not seen.
These ancient ones have been waiting,
waiting to call her home.
Captive of an inherited lineage she was,
but now: choose the old ways,
or break free and live in wild spaces
and unknown places,
wild and free and ancient,
inhabiting the wild of me,
the ancient one,
the one that has been waiting.
7 September 2024
BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART
The canvas of my life
is painted full of gratitude…………
So much gratitude and appreciation
and awe, wonder and joy.
My cup runneth over.
And on that canvas,
are also speckles of discontent,
dissatisfaction, doubt and despair –
They are welcome too.
I bow down to everything I see on this canvas,
knowing I am that
which is underneath and behind and beyond –
unchanging, spacious and free.
Nothing excluded.
All welcome.
Seen for what it is, as it is.
No right or wrong.
Just all here and belonging to
the whole beautiful work of art
that is my life.
3 September 2024
MY ROMAN CATHOLIC UPBRINGING
At times, I notice the echoes
of my Roman Catholic upbringing come up.
Fear that I will be punished by God
for being ungrateful,
for complaining,
for being dis-satisfied and wanting more.
I notice the personality fearing
the sword of damnation coming down on my head
and regret that I ever expressed
even one syllable of discontent.
It’s fascinating to be aware of these energies
of past conditioning
in the light of truth and Being.
I, Presence, aware of it all.
Seeing clearly what is not true,
compassion for the fearful one,
knowing that all is welcome
and that each emotion and thought is energy
and vibrates at a particular frequency.
Nothing to really do.
Just rest back into the Love that I am
and know truth here.
No need to change anything.
Just see the passing clouds
of all the different energies
and return to love,
again and again and again.
3 September 2024
THERE ARE DAYS WHEN I QUESTION EVERYTHING
There are days when I question everything……..
My marriage, the work I love to do,
where I live, my lifestyle,
what I am doing here.
Those days when I shake up my own world vigorously
so that nothing makes sense anymore
and I feel confused, uncertain, scattered,
negative, cynical and dark.
Those days, when I want out.
To be free like a gypsy,
accountable to no one,
listening to no one,
not having to stay calm and quiet and present,
mediate, negotiate, understand, listen.
When I can be free to be with just me and God.
The only thing that stands firm
and unquestioned on those days,
is home inside,
God’s Being:
Unchanging, ever present,
a refuge always, and especially,
on those days
when my world is upside down and inside out.
3 September 2024
ALL SUFFERING IS BECAUSE WE HAVE FORGOTTEN WHO WE ARE
All suffering is because
we have forgotten who we are.
Knowing that, suffering ceases.
Being ocean, open, spacious, silence,
the screen on which the movie is played,
there is clear seeing
of the movie, the wave in the ocean,
objects in the space.
Mind will give you a million reasons
why this is not so,
or else, its demise is imminent.
The illusion is so strong,
seeming to be a solid wall 100m thick.
Yet, in the Holy Instant of Clear Seeing,
the wall is no more.
It never was.
It was not what it appeared to be,
even though mind would argue for a million years
that it is not so.
Do not argue with mind.
Do not convince, defend, justify.
Just turn away
and let attention rest on Being, the movie screen,
ocean, space stillness.
Protea Farm
17 August 2024
STILLNESS SENSES THE SUBTLE
Stillness senses the subtle
of the Sensual Sacred.
A walk up the mountain is
NOT just a walk up the mountain for me.
It is Sacred Comm – Union.
A rarefied, rare, revelation.
Secrets always known,
but forgotten.
Lost amidst the mists of survival thinking
and far-away-ness from here,
from This.
Please do not talk.
Please do not utter a sound.
Just a sigh of awe and wonder
is enough for us to know
that we do know and see and perceive………..
This.
Please do not move away from here…..
and here…………and here.
This………..too precious to turn away from,
too precious to not see and perceive.
Why do you insist on mental machinations?
Habit, of course………..
Ignorance, fear,
patterns deep, oh so deep.
Come now,
walk and rest in the stillness.
Let mind find it,
gently, kindly, tenderly……..
Come………….
Climbing up Arangieskop
Protea Farm
17 August 2024
I LIVE MY OTHER LIFE IN DREAMS
I live my other life in my dreams…..
It’s so different to this realm
from which I am now writing.
Anything is possible there,
and the unloved and unlived side of life
here,
gets lived out
there.
The dream world completes me.
Through it, wholeness is revealed
and so I know deeply
that nothing is missing or wrong or not ok.
My favourite is flying……
I love the feeling of freedom and ecstasy
as I glide over the landscape
and dance in the air –
So agile, powerful, swift and creative.
Yes……. dreams reveal so much to me,
of what’s in the shadows, under the radar,
that which is unseen and unknown
in the backwoods of the unlived life –
All is shown to me and experienced…..
sometimes scary,
sometimes delicious,
always not like here……
Metaphorical, illogical,
un-sequential, spirals
and woven threads
mismatched yet connected.
The mind is not the ruler there.
Something else is the undercurrent of the show,
and I am so drawn to
that.
This body responds to
the holy, creative, unlimited-ness of
that.
27 May 2024
WHEN STILLNESS SPEAKS
When stillness speaks,
the ways of the heart reveal
and that, which was previously unknown,
becomes known.
When stillness speaks,
love has a chance to move
and show the way
and we return home to the truth that was always there,
but was unseen…….
covered over by layers of
misperception and misunderstanding.
When stillness speaks,
the breath becomes the ocean upon which
the waves of the mind rest,
and we return once again to that which is
nameless,
ceaseless,
unseen,
untouchable…………..
that which is before the mind,
that which is beyond,
That
Which
Just
Simply…………………………
IS.
(20 March 2021)
Learning Clan
Riviersonderend
THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THIS
Thank you for all of this……………
We have woven together
a rich tapestry of creative expression,
each of us a thread in this magnificent
work of collaborative co-creation.
We have come together
and deepened in our love for ourselves
and each other and all beings.
We have played and had fun
and dived deep into the Mystery
of Life and Love and Being and Connecting.
Communing with the elements of Mother Nature,
dancing to her muses in the moon and trees and wind-song and sun.
We have come together to create, envision, birth, sustain,
to honour, acknowledge, pay reverence and homage
to each other and all of Life in its myriad forms.
Our hearts have been broken and mended,
now fuller and bigger,
now more capacity to feel everything
and to heal into Love and Wholeness.
Our dancing bodies and singing hearts
have created a chorus with the birds and wind and waterfalls
and from that, the valley has come to know us –
our presence is felt and recognized as She,
of the One,
All One.
We have listened deeply to each others’ souls
and seen beneath and beyond that which is visible,
mirroring it back to each other,
so that all of us can be met
and welcomed home into the heart of Love.
We have dived deep into the womb of the Mother,
sat in the belly of her shadowy shala
and wept and sung till only emptiness remained,
and we emerged anew, reborn as the truth,
as the uncompromising knowing of our deepest essence.
For all of this,
we give thanks and praise.
We sing to the heavens and deep into the earth,
knowing that each one is the channel between both,
light bearers, love weavers,
living love as we pray to ourselves and each other,
knowing that all is well
and that this coming together
was called forth by the Gods.
And forever shall it be so………..
women coming together,
weaving a sisterhood for humanity,
for Love,
for all beings.
(23 December 2020)
LOVE IS ALL THERE IS
I can’t tell you exactly how all of this came about…
What exactly I did or did not do
for me to be here in my life where I am now.
There is no formula that I can pass onto you,
no magic way that would lead you to
manifesting your best life.
What I can tell you
and what I know to be true for me is this:
spend time in stillness.
Spend time inside your heart and belly and body.
Cultivate a rich deep inner life
that you get to know intimately and deeply and fully.
Be still.
Listen.
Breathe.
Write, express, ask powerful questions,
surrender, trust,
act when guidance comes,
listen some more and every day,
in whatever way,
make time to be with yourself, with God,
with that which is infinite, divine, universal,
with that which is the rest of you, the true Being,
Loving presence, Source, Awareness…………
Whatever you call it, is secondary,
what matters is spending time connecting with this IS-ness,
plug into infinity and BE the channel connecting heaven and earth,
until you become that heaven-earth.
Live life vertically, not just horizontally
and drink from Nature, as much as you can,
for Nature is the place and space
where the veil of separation falls away
and you feel you Self more fully, deeply, intimately,
the presence of that which you are,
which Nature re-connects you with,
were clouds melt away and you are the blue sky awareness,
where waves fall back into themselves and you are the ocean,
where the movie ceases to be
and you are the screen upon which all phenomena play out.
This I know to be true:
cultivate a rich, deep inner world,
as you would, taking care of a sacred garden,
spend time there,
plant seeds in the rich soil,
water them with your love and presence and attention,
with your kindness and compassion, curiosity, and care,
then the fruits of your life will be all you desire…………and more……
For Love is all there is,
from Love comes everything,
and to Love, everything returns.
All is Love.
That…………I AM.
(3 December 2020)
BEYOND CONVERSATION
Beyond Conversation
I want to meet you beyond words and conversations,
beyond mental ruminations.
I want to meet you beyond ideas and opinions,
beyond perspectives.
I want to meet you beyond your past and future story.
Let’s meet in the place of mutual experience
where our souls dance together
in the field of communion and recognition of the One.
Let’s meet in the place of a shared dance of Life
where a deeper intimacy beyond the mind, is possible.
Let’s meet in the realm of unlimited possibilities
where all of who we are
is given space and place and freedom to
express and create.
Let’s create together, imagine together, be in silence together
beyond conversations and words.
In that place where thoughts are only an echo of the real thing,
I want that – the real essence of meeting,
connecting, communing, and playing,
that expands us, grows us, uplifts us, inspires us
and changes everything.
It is about:
Communion
Soul connection
Healing
Play, fun
Curiosity, joy, love,
Creativity, ecstasy, learning,
Sharing our gifts and interests and passions and creativity and
the essence of who we are.
(7 November 2020)
AT THE BEDSIDE OF THE DYING ME
I am at the bedside of the dying me and this is what the dying me says to me:
Embrace life fully
from the heart of a child.
Shed the snakeskin of fear
that would keep you small
and believing that which is not true.
Whatever happens,
you are well, safe, and taken care of.
Trust Life to lead you to the Ocean of Love.
You are that.
Give yourself permission
to enjoy the fruits of your labour.
Rest easy in the knowing that you are ok
and that Life is sweet and loving
and abundant and full of joy.
Play more, laugh more
and BE free in your mind, in your heart,
in your coming and going.
Open your heart more fully
and let your light shine bright.
You are the light of the world,
a precious jewel in the heart of God.
Claim your birth right
of abundance and wholeness
and know that Love is with you
in every moment of your life.
LOVE IS WHO YOU ARE
(8 April 2020)
WHEN GOD SENDS ME AN INVITATION
When God sends me an invitation,
all I need to say is ‘yes’.
Be willing,
be open to all possibilities
and arrive naïve as a child…
No expectations,
no idea of how or what or when……..
Arrive as a child,
excited and delighted and playful, curious, joyful.
Then God will reveal worlds to you
that you could never have imagined
from your limited personhood.
He will take you into experiences that nourish your soul
and teach you so much about life and living
and how to dance with God.
All is a hologram
and so whether I am making love,
looking for a new home,
asking for guidance and wisdom,
working as a pharmacist or life coach,
it is all the same dance with God.
Just say yes, just trust, surrender into the unknown,
arrive and be as a child,
open, curious and playful,
taking pleasure in each moment and allowing the unfolding to happen
within and all around you,
no expectations to outcome,
no commentary or story about what is happening,
just fully present in the moment,
a deep dive into what is now……and now…….and now
Being child-like is the key.
She is the doorway to magic!
Know that ALL can be playtime!
It was playtime for God when he created galaxies
and flowers and animals and me!
And so……..how could anything ever be a problem again?
How can there be any more fear?
All is created from love, from joy, from celebration
We are that.
Why not live as that now
in this form called Giulia?
All is a hologram.
This is the invitation.
(23 April 2020)
IN THE SPACE BETWEEN
I AM in the space between the words
I AM in the space behind the words
I AM in the pause at the end of every inbreath and outbreath
I AM in the stillness that permeates all activity and
all sense perception
I AM always and everywhere here.
No matter where you go,
I will always be here.
Know this as the truth deep in your heart.
I will never leave nor forsake you
I am always here waiting for you.
Remember me as who you truly are.
I AM in the you.
Rest in me………..
There you will find the deepest nourishment
that will never leave you hungry again.
Rest in me
and release all unto me.
Relax back into this loving presence.
Come home and be with me
Let my spacious love envelop you
so that you never miss one moment of it.
Rest here and be still.
Rest. Remain silent.
Relinquish any doing.
Rest in me.
Rest in the fullness of this love that you are.
This is it.
There is nothing else,
Only this.
Resist no-thing
Welcome everything
Welcome all of you
Welcome all of life in all its manifestations.
Accept each moment as it is,
as if you had chosen it.
See the wonderment behind the story
that would have you believe it is anything other than that.
Everything is an expression of love
Open more and more to this that you are.
It is all already here.
Let it pour into you and enlighten all that is not you.
See the truth.
Know the truth.
Freedom lies in its wake.
(22 February 2020)
Gokarna, India
WHEN I AM WILLING TO MEET
When I am willing to meet
what is here,
when I am willing to meet
what is alive in my heart right now,
when I am willing to meet
myself fully and dive into the depths
of all these uncomfortable feelings
and situations and constellations,
when I am willing to feel everything,
ask useful questions
and reflect on ‘what happened’
with a deep desire to deepen into
truth, wisdom, compassion and love,
when I can remain present to what is
and do not abandon myself………..
then….…yes……………..
then the tight knot of this bag of ‘what happened’ loosens
and the bag opens and its contents
pour out onto this table of love
as I sit with myself and with God.
Then I am able to pick out these magnificent gemstones
of insights, revelations, truths and wisdom.
These gemstones help me see more clearly,
understand more deeply,
know what before was unknown.
And my heart opens and opens and opens
to this love that is behind and beneath and beyond
all of the ‘what happened’.
It is this love that fuels everything that happens
so that I come home to it
and know myself as it.
Thank you to everything that happens,
every small and big thing….
Thank you.
(25 January 2019)
Gokarna, Kerala, India
PLEASE DO NOT LIMIT LOVE
Please do not limit love
by a word, a name, a phrase,
a gesture, a person.
Please do not limit love
by sentimentality or superficiality.
Please do not limit love
by a religion or faith,
by a group or guru.
Please do not limit love
by a place or perspective or by a book.
Love is boundless, infinite,
beyond anything the mind could ever grasp or understand.
Follow the HEART of LOVE………….
that will lead you home.
FEEL its qualities echo
in the deepest recesses of your heart,
where your soul abides.
Feel it move you to tears, to laughter,
to a silence beyond anything you have ever known.
Feel it inside your very being, because………..
IT IS WHO YOU ARE.
(5 January 2019)
Arambol, Goa, India
INTO THE DEEP
Drop into the deep, deep waters of my Soul…….
there, where heaven and earth meet,
in the lap of God.
Drop deeply and surrender
all that you thought you needed in order to arrive.
You need nothing.
Come naked as you are.
Yesterday you thought you understood everything
and had all the answers.
Today you see that empty mind and not knowing
are the gateways to bliss.
So come, Beloved,
drop deeply into the arms of love,
into the arms of the one true God
that is above and beyond any words, concepts,
ideas or imaginings.
Go deep into your heart
and there, you will know that One.
(1 January 2019)
Arambol, Goa, India
AS EACH VEIL FALLS
Can you see through the veils of your mind,
that, which you thought was reality,
was only an illusion?
As each veil falls,
you see more clearly the truth of reality
and your own nature.
All that was banished from the heart of love,
must return and be welcomed home.
Nothing will be left unremembered,
unaccounted for, or unnamed.
But, do not try too hard.
In fact, do not try at all.
Just be willing, open, receptive, present,
and trust that you are loved, supported
and held so dearly in God’s embrace.
If you place your attention and faith there,
fear will dissolve and you will find, in its place,
a deeper willingness to be in the world
that is now less scary and where now,
there is more room for play, for joy,
for enjoyment and love.
As each veil falls,
you will see yourself in everything and everyone
and for the first time,
know that there never was a ‘me’ and ‘you’.
And when you feel the enormity of this truth,
you will no longer need to protect yourself
from the pain and suffering in the world.
Rather, you will open to it more deeply
because, by meeting it fully in your heart of love,
with absolute presence, seeing and care,
you move from helpless bystander
to victorious healer……………but not of your own doing.
No.
Only because there is space now for love to live in and through you,
and it is this transmission of Light, of Love, of God,
of the unnameable essence of I AM,
that heals, awakens, opens, nourishes,
and shows the way back home.
(1 January 2019)
Arambol, Goa, India
THE COSMOS IN A TEACUP
I used to say and feel this:
‘how can you put the cosmos into a tea cup?’
trying to explain who I am and what I do.
But now, the cups are shattering and breaking…
dreams tell me that a room is no longer big enough to contain my energy
so that the other can breathe and move.
She now needs to move into a bigger space, or even go outside
so that she can expand unencumbered.
More of me and deep roots growing through my body, the dance,
this community… taking the next step
feeling called to hold my own circle.
I am a little afraid and yet, I have tasted the exhilaration
of stepping onto the dance floor of my life and claiming my space
and my presence, trusting my offering, which of course, is of God, from God,
in service to God.
I keep listening for how God wants me to create this circle
and how it can live and come alive
so that the deep work of healing to wholeness can take place.
It is these qualities that speaks to me:
The quality of space,
presence,
engagement,
vulnerability,
authenticity.
I keep listening…
(13 April 2016)
IT WAS NEVER ABOUT YOU
My dear, precious, beautiful child…
Are you beginning to understand and see
that it was ever about you?
Are you beginning to realize
that she never withdrew her love from you,
even though it may have felt like that?
The truth is, she never stopped loving you… ever!
It was never about you.
It was about her and her own search for meaning and purpose,
It was about her desperate attempt
to deal with her own wounding and hurt and pain.
It was about her own despair and disillusionment
and nothing was ever your fault.
(5 July 2015)
INTO THE CENTRE AND BEYOND
I move to the centre of the circle with my breath and my awareness,
with my steady focus,
dropping, arriving, becoming fully present.
Breath arriving at the centre of the circle,
into the unknown.
At the surface, it seems like just a point in the circle…
known, simple…
But as I move towards it and through it,
it becomes unknown and so vast.
Steady focus with my breath…
I move into it and through the centre and into the void
and behind the circle, in the emptiness,
a world opens up to me,
instinctual, beyond words, ancient, sensual
And I stay with my breath and steady focus…
remaining light,|
not holding onto anything,
just riding the wave of my awareness,
with no fixed idea of where I am going…
and it does not matter.
Only now matters… and my breath.
I rest my hands on the place that needs healing…
no words, no thoughts…
Hands resting… breath… awareness,
bringing awareness and breath into that place,
feeling it, feeling into… it comes alive, warm,
it expands, vibrates,
receives, opens, releases…
Space opens up…
attending love…
(7 June 2015)
FORGETTING AND REMEMBERING
Remembering… forgetting…
Forgetting and remembering…
The pain of forgetting helps me wake up to remembering.
When I forget who I truly am and I become a robotic do-er,
disconnected from my heart and always in a rush,
the pain is so intense…
that being in this place for any length of time, becomes unbearable.
I am grateful for the forgetting,
because it wakes me up to the remembering.
Efficiency at the expense of my heart, is no longer an option for me.
Closing my heart to protect me from pain, is no longer possible.
Being who I am is my purpose
and any time I move away from this,
I am reminded by the pain I feel.
A heart open,
a vessel of God’s love…
joyful, open, soft, at ease, moving more slowly through my life,
deeply connected to my essence…
doing effortlessly from this state of being
deeply satisfying…
I am in service…
And God reigns supreme!!
( 26 March 2015 )
COME CHILD, COME TO ME
Why don’t you rely on me when you are trying to cope,
rather than on coffee and tea and food?
Why do you not look for me when you feel anxious, bored,
stuck, frustrated, horrible in your body?
When you don’t feel like doing something that you need to do,
please… turn to me… I am always here for you and I will help you.
I am always here, waiting for you to come to me,
to rest yourself in me, in my love for you.
Come child… come to me… and I will give you rest…
Come to me child, and I will give you what you deeply long for,
that which nourishes your soul and deepest heart…
peace, stillness, equanimity, joy, ok-ness with what is…
Come now… be still… listen… do nothing…
I am waiting for you.
Come to me BEFORE you head out for the cliff and jump off it…
speak to me, tell me what you are feeling, cry me your tears…
share with me all that rests heavy in your heart
all that you are running away from, that you cannot be with…
share it with me… it is never too much for me…
and I can take it all… I can take all that you do not want to know and feel and hear.
I will wait here for you now.
I will be here for you forever…
Come child…
(16 July 2013)
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM YOURSELF?
I expect to awaken fully to who I am
and live who I am in a way that makes a significant difference
in my life and in the lives of others.
I expect myself to keep evolving, growing, transforming, awakening,
enjoying the richness and abundance and beauty of life.
I expect myself to love and be loved deeply,
in the most magnificent soulful way.
I expect myself to be healthy, vibrant, slim,
passionate, energetic, powerful, flexible,
to live a life full of magical experiences with magical people,
surrounded by a circle of deep friendships and love.
I expect myself to live a life of purpose and meaning,
expressing the fullness of my being in every moment
and thereby, touching the lives of others,
reminding them of, and awakening them to who they are.
I expect of myself to be always connected to my soul and divinity
and live in the flow of life,
taking guidance, through my heart and intuition
from soul and the Divine.
I expect myself to be and live mindfully, with awareness
and to keep bringing consciousness
to all the parts of me that are still asleep.
(11 January 2011)